A Skeptical Situation
by AbsterAvery
Summary: A woman serving a life sentence at Wentworth Correctional Centre for her murder of her daughter's killer unequivocally decides that she will never be content ever again, until a young ambiguous woman with an devoted love to her, turns that idea on its head.
1. Chapter 1 - Daunting Prospects

**_"Chapter 1 - Daunting Prospects"_**

 _Freedom is a virtue of life, an inevitable human right. Something that is valued by multitudes of people. Forty years of freedom is an elongated yet extensive period of time in someone's life. An infinity and recurring amount of possibilities could happen in that time; you could have children, watch them grow, you could go and venture the world, you could make life-long friends and bonds, you could gather friends and regale some songs. Finally - you could enjoy your freedom, the right to do whatever you want regarding society's rules and laws that ensure the safety of all citizens. Being at liberty and being at one with nature, watching the sun set and the sun rise, and the composition of colours that is visually pleasing to anybody that appreciates natures work. Freedom allows you to do whatever you want, and allows you to envisage and create a future for yourself, your friends and your families with multiple choices that are all up to you. After all, all you have is time right?_

For Bea Smith, the realisation that she would be spending forty years of her life being locked up being bars in confinement at Wentworth Correctional Centre was overwhelming and sinister. The question that kept going over Bea's head again and again is "what am I going to do?". She dawned upon this question as she sat in the bus that was driving towards Wentworth Prison. They had been housed at Walford, the men's prison, for the last four months as a result of a fire caused by the former governor of Wentworth and her arch nemesis, Joan Ferguson. They were packed off to Walford, much to Bea's liking and she did not have the pressures of being top dog, a huge pressure and responsibility to take, which allowed reality to come upon her and compose herself; she was going to die incarcerated.

So what does she have to keep on living? She was a housewife, abused and raped by her controlling husband, Harry. She had never felt true love or pleasure in a relationship. She tried to put her daughter first and stayed with Harry for Debbie's sake, but when he raped her once more, Bea found herself trying to kill Harry by suffocating him. She stopped herself, with guilt and worry, realising what she was doing. Before she knew it, she was whisked off to Wentworth for an attempted murder charge, away and unable to protect her beloved Debbie. Her daughter died as a result of a heroin overdose orchestrated by the former top dog, Jacs Holt, who ordered her son to get Debbie hooked on heroin and make her death seem like an overdose. He succeeded, and the death of her daughter obliterated Bea. The one and only thing she only ever felt love for in this world was her daughter, and that had been taken away from her.

 _Wentworth had taken that from her._

For the next few years, her anger would be the one asset that would drive her and cave out her future and her destiny; to be top dog. She confronted Jacs about the death of her daughter who admitted that she had her son, Brayden Holt, befriend Debbie and kill her as use for leverage. Bea was used as a pawn between Jacs Holt and the contender for top dog, Franky Doyle. Jacs had Debbie killed to make Bea weaker. Jacs provoked Bea, referencing things such as "it was a kindness really" and "she was better off dead". Words that circled round Bea's head even in the present as she stared out of the window contemplating her future. Before Bea knew it, her anger drove her to grab a biro from one of the bedside cabinets and to stick it in Jacs' neck. The initial stabbing would have not been enough to kill her, however as the biro was removed, it severed a main artery and Jacs died in her cell at the hands of Bea Smith. The sound of the panic button still rang in her ears, the sight of Jacs' dead body lay there on the bed, her smile, the blood. All still fresh on her mind, and slowly decomposing Bea.

After her sentencing, she experienced a mental breakdown; being hooked on sedatives and hooked on the false reality that her daughter was still alive and that Bea was able to speak to her. On the brink of destruction, Liz talked some sense into Bea and told her that she needed to find a reason to get up tomorrow. From that moment on, it spurred her to go cold turkey and to get off the sedatives and her dependence on them once and for all but to depend on the fact that one day she would avenge her daughters death, and that she would kill Brayden Holt. Months of planning and motivation and doing anything to get by, Bea orchestrated her escape by having a fight with the top dog Franky, winning, and then slashing her own wrists deep enough that it would only be treatable by the hospital. She was taking blood-clotting pills that stemmed a lot of the bleeding. She escaped from the hospital and went to Liz, whom she had had a firearm sent to, in order to kill Brayden.

Liz argued against it but pure anger and hatred was driving this woman, and there was no way she was going to stop now. She went straight to Brayden's business and confronted him. During a spur of remorse and mercy instigated by Mr Jackson, Brayden was a free man and began to walk out until he smiled thinking that he had gotten away with it, but Bea shot him straight in the head, instantly killing him, remnants of his brain dotten against the wall, as his body lay limp on an armchair. Bea sat down, finally relieved but feeling justice after she had just killed him. She sat, staring at his body. The body of a man who took the life of her daughter. At the time, it felt good and justified. But years on, looking at it from a different perspective, Bea was not quite so sure. She returned to Wentworth Correctional Centre, where the former top dog, Franky Doyle, announced that Bea Smith would now be taking on from her. She recieved a round of applause but Bea was not so sure what she had quite signed herself up for.

During the sentencing of the murder of Brayden Holt, she remained unrepentent until the end. The judge sentenced her to life without parole with a minimum of forty years, meaning that she would spend the rest of her days behind iron bars. Returning after the sentencing, Joan Ferguson taunted her about her sentence, and from then on, Bea knew it was her goal to take down Joan "The Freak" Ferguson and to prove to her that Bea ran Wentworth, not her. During an eventful couple of months on which the Freak commited some unspeakable things like psychological torture to Jodie Spiteri resulting her losing an eye, drugging Bea with LSD in an attempt to try and get her sent to a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane, and to try and prevent Franky Doyle's parole by any means necessary. The Freak's murder of the baby killer, Jess Warner, led to a fire started by Ferguson that got out of control and burnt down the whole of H Block. Ferguson was arrested and detained, Franky got paroled, and the girls were moved to Walford before returning back on the bus to Wentworth.

Bea stared outside of the window, envious of the people that lived a normal life. The people that had freedom, that had family, and that had a reason to live. Everything that seemed normal in a functioning society seemed so alien and abstract to Bea now, it really did come close to home that she was never going to experience that freedom again, that she was never going to experience love again. She was never going to be apart of that society again, and that's what hit her the most. After the fire, the sights of Jacs' dead body laying up against the cell wall, and Brayden sat limp in the arm-chair with blood gushing out of his head stayed with Bea and took her apart mentally, however she never seemed to show that on her very hard and physically imposing exterior. She had never been able to get rest or sleep normally again since, which was her faulty entirely as she was the one that killed them both. Before, it didn't seem so bad. She had a goal, she had something to work towards; to take the Freak down. And she did but now, Bea was left with daunting prospects and feeling lost and disconnected from the world. Bea knew that out of all of her friends, she was the only one that was going to be there forever and the only one who would never had a future outside of these walls, only inside them, and the only person who will never see the sky as a free woman again.

This mental track of thought led Bea to think and conclude a summary of questions that she understood that she would ask herself repeatedly and on a daily basis whilst at Wentworth. Was it all worth it? What is left for me here? What am I going to do for the next forty years of my sentence? Do I still have the strength and desire to carry the women and be responsible for them and to lead them in the right direction? These questions rotated around her head like a ferris wheel as she contemplated what she would do. Her loss of feeling and emotion told her primal instinct that a lot of things had changed for her since she came to Wentworth but the question she needed to ask herself was "Am I now a person that can lead these women, who want me in charge, in the right direction?" or "Am I now a person who is feared, and the women do not want in charge, but will not say anything due to my past?". Bea would only know once and for all, and that was when she arrived at Wentworth. By the time she had done all this mental thinking, their van arrived in the sally port, and _the first step to her future, began here and now._


	2. Chapter 2 - Unequal Balance

_**"Chapter 2 - Unequal Balance"**_

 ***Author Note***

 ***I'm sorry that I haven't brought the second chapter to you sooner! I have been very busy at the moment and I simply could not find the time to conjure up the second part to this lovely story. I will be writing about the whole of Allie and Bea's journey throughout season four, exploring their mental thoughts. I will also be adding a twist onto the season finale, which will depict my predictions for season five, which I will warn you of right now, Bea will survive. I also apologise if there are any inaccuracies. There is going to be swearing in the future chapters, and smut. (hence the 'M' rating). Thank you for all the support that you have given me, but unfortunately I will not be updating the story as much as I should due to me having a years worth of exams! Without further a do, let's get into it :) ***

The last four months had been easy for Allie Novak; a stable environment where everything is organised and laid out for you. Her mind wandered back to ten years ago where she did a small stretch for assault; a girl was trying to pick up her clients and she had attacked her while high. Allie was a lot different then. All she cared about was getting coke back then, and doing whatever she could to get it. So she ended up prostituting herself to pay for her habit, and was assaulted by a variety of Johns over the years when her pimp failed to protect her. She felt depressed as it reminded her of a darker time where her father kicked her out after she came out as gay, and she ended up having to stay at a women's shelter.

A smile arose from her face. That's where she met Kaz. That's when she was able to claim her "righteous acts of retribution" across all of the people who had assaulted Allie all over the years. This is what made her sober, seeing the bastards who assaulted women pay for what they had done. The Red Right Hand gave her focus, Kaz got her clean and gave her a home; what else could she ask for? Kaz was like the mother she never had, and she was fiercely loyal and forever in debt to her. If Kaz hadn't have got Allie off of the gear, she probably wouldn't have survived. This fierce loyalty to Kaz meant that Allie felt a fierce loyalty to Bea Smith when their crew was on the outside.

Bea Smith was the poster child for the Red Right Hand and all of their doings, and Allie had a secret but formidable crush for her. She admired how she'd pulled through her daughter's death, the repeated rape of her by her husband, and the cold blooded killing of Brayden Holt for taking her daughters life. She was an inspiration to Allie, and there was something about her that she just loved. She'd never met her in person, but that was all about to change sometime soon, she knew it. Wiping a blonde lock of hair from her face, she peered over to look at Kaz whilst the rest of the crew sat down on a picnic table. She was playing basketball with a few of the women, mumbling about how Bea Smith was not going to tell them what to do. The women didn't seem certain.

Of course, Kaz hated Bea and presumed that she had shopped her crew. Allie was sitting on the fence; she'd never met Bea and she didn't understand any possible reason for shopping them. What would be the point? She is a woman with no chance of a life outside of Wentworth, why would she want to create a group of enemies for herself? Something didn't add up. She was pulled out of her haze when Kaz placed a hand on her shoulder, and stared at her sky-blue eyes. "You alright, kiddo?" Kaz questioned with a faint smile. Allie cleared her throat and looked back at Kaz with a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine". Kaz threw the ball back at Tina Mercado, an Asian woman who had a past for dealing drugs.

Kaz took a seat curiously next to Allie, wondering what had got her daydreaming. "You seem out of it" Kaz smiled. Allie looked at her back. "I'm just thinking about life before here...before I met you" Allie admitted. Kaz's gaze looked sympathetic towards Allie. Kaz hooked an arm round Allie's shoulder and took her gaze across the courtyard. "I'm going to give it to you straight because it's how I've always done it" Kaz stated to Allie. Allie smiled the slightest before also staring across the courtyard. "You were a mess, you were looking to get high constantly and you were willing to do anything to get it. Your family gave you shit because you told them you were a lesbian, and they kicked you out, gave you nowhere to live and gave you a shit start to life" Kaz rambled on. Allie always appreciated Kaz's advice, even if she did drone on a little bit.

"At the end of the day, who you were then, and who you are now, are two different people. You've come out the better person. You are a strong woman now, and you're unbelieveably capable of achieving anything you want, but it's just a shame that you're gonna have to spend some time in here" Kaz said, her voice with a flash of anger. "Fucking Bea Smith" Kaz said under her breath, her fists bunched. Allie laid a hand on her forearm. "Remember when we beat the shit out of that businessman because he was fucking hitting his wife every other night?" Allie smiled, trying to pull Kaz out of her I-Want-To-Fucking-Kill-Bea-Smith haze. Kaz laughed. "Yeah. I smashed the baseball bat over his forehead and we had Snortz recording. That was great" Kaz laughed again, smiling. "The good old times" Allie said nostaglically. "I'll leave you to it, kid" Kaz said, patting her shoulder before standing back up and going off to play basketball. Allie stood up and headed to her room.

Allie closed her cell door as she entered H3, exhaling as nobody was in there. She stared at her memo board that had a few photos on it, but the one she was most interested in, was the newspaper clipping hidden behind a Lara Croft poster. She took it off the wall and sat down on her bed, staring at the title, and the beautiful redhead that was in handcuffs led on the floor. She looked sexy even then, trailing off into some foreseen thoughts. Not now Novak, Allie thought to herself. She stared at the correctional officer beside her, led on the ground also. That was Will Jackson, the now deputy governor. People had been suspecting that they had a relationship before that was never proved, but it still hung in the back of Allie's mind. She didn't want competition, but she knew that Bea Smith, most certainly wasn't gay. Everybody thought she was uptight but Allie could see past that. She was good at reading people, she'd learnt through her years as being an escort.

Allie didn't know whether to be disgusted or shocked with herself as she saw herself glaring at the redhead, and found her so sexy and muscular, even though she had just killed someone. But that didn't phase Allie. She read the title: "Convicted Murderer Bea Smith kills Brayden Holt". Her fingers traced over the paper as she found herself reading the first paragraph of the article, as she had done many times before. "Convicted murderer Bea Smith escaped hospital custody due to wounds on her wrists, before she shot and killed Brayden Holt, avenging her daughter Debbie. Vinnie Holt collapsed and died, meaning that Melbourne's most feared crime family had been wiped out, all due to this one individual". Allie smiled, Bea was a hero within herself, whether the public saw it that way or not.

Allie's eyes scanned over the paper seeing things like "life without parole" and "will spend the rest of her days behind bars" before hearing her crew entering her unit quite loudly, obviously riled up by something. Allie quickly hid the clipping before Kaz came in and looked extremely pissed off. "You won't believe what Smiles reckons?" Kaz said, almost laughing that she was so riled. "What?" Allie questioned unknowingly as she wiped her forehead, feeling a headache coming. Kaz gestured for her to come out into the hallway of H3, where a gathering was commencing for their crew. All of them were there, Kaz, Allie, Soz, Mel, and Snortz. "Alright, you lot, listen up" Kaz began, almost as if she was going to start one of her ninety minute speeches about power and oppression, especially oppression of women.

Allie didn't listen in for the majority of the time because most of the stuff that came out of Kaz's mouth, Allie agreed with. They shared the same mentality. However, Allie declared to herself that this was probably a serious matter and some big news for Kaz to appeared so riled, so she listened in carefully. "We all know Smiles is as crooked as they come, and she told me this morning that she might has some information that might be important to me. Our regular woman drops some money off in her bank, and she corners me after rec time. Do you want to know what she told me?" Kaz asked, looking around at her crew, who were all sat down on the couches, nodding their heads. Allie was at the counter, making herself a cup of tea when she said to Kaz "what is it?".

"The one and only, Queen Bea Smith and her lot are arriving today in the sally port for just about three o' clock in the afternoon. The new cell block and all the other parts that were shut down due to the renovation are going to be open which means there is going to be a lot more enemies out there for us girls, and a lot more ground to cover. Bea is going to be expecting a full frontal attack, however I have something else in mind. I'm not one to be violent against women, but I think we're going to be having a bit of trouble with the Queen here as she is expecting all of the girls to be adherent to her call. We're gonna prove her wrong" Kaz laughed. The rest of the crew joined in, except Allie. She understood the hostility towards Bea but didn't agree with it. She had no actual proof Bea shopped them, so why was she going to start a fight she knew she can't win?

Allie's mind daunted on Kaz's psychology as she continued with her speech. "I've got an idea. We're gonna set up a meet. In the laundry. I'll have a present for her. We'll need someone to deliver the message to the Queen herself" Kaz stated unequivocally. "I'll do it" Allie blurted out, damn near shouting. She would do anything to be able to see Bea in person for the first time, and even better she would be able to go on her own and show Bea that she is not a threat, and to try and divide herself away from the Red Right Hand, but not so much so that she wasn't in their crew anymore. Allie wouldn't have liked to have moved crews, but if she had the opportunity to go into Bea's crew, she would take it. Allie questioned her loyalties, and it left an unequal balance of her love and admiration for Bea Smith, and her much needed nurture by her adoptive mother, Kaz Proctor. Allie knew one day she would have to decide, she was just glad it wasn't now.

Kaz was a bit shocked by Allie's sudden upheaval, but simply nodded. Kaz walked over to Allie and spoke. "Just give them an hour to make sure they've settled in. I expect they'll have a welcoming party by the other prisoners. Just make sure that there are no other crews around, we don't need them getting involved in the drama" Kaz expressed. She didn't want anything to go wrong. First impressions make everything. That's exactly what was swimming through Allie's mind when she realised that she was going to meet the woman who she had so much admiration for, in less than 24 hours. Allie spent most of her day in the cell, wondering what she was going to say and how Bea would think of her. You're overthinking Novak, stop it. But Allie couldn't get the thought of Bea out of her mind, and she went to sleep dreaming of herself and a certain redhead alone.


End file.
